Saturday, 10 January 2015
let's get serious (trigger warning)
Bonjour my internet friends,
Now to warn you, this is a more serious topic. I don't want anyone to be triggered or hateful towards anything I say in the rest of the blog post. So if you're looking for a good read or happy stories, this is not the time.
I definitely have had my moments of sadness, frustration ending in tears. But from being more involved in the internet community, I have had my eyes opened to the problems real people face on a daily basis.
I have friends around the world (and close to me) with depression, social anxiety, panic disorder, bipolar, and many more mental health issues.
One thing that breaks my heart, is seeing them post about something that happened that affected them horribly because of their disorders and such.
And when I have to, by choice not by obligation, stay up to convince a beautiful girl to stay away from her blades and not self-harm, that breaks a little piece of me inside.
Because truly, would it not be better if they just left the world that they were put on for a purpose? I love people to no end, and to see them harm themselves because of bad situations makes me so hurt inside.
I don't understand why they hurt themselves. I've heard people say it's because “they hurt themselves physically so they can ignore the mental pain." But it feels like there's more to it. I don't know, I might be wrong.
One thing that really bugs me (and irks me every time I see it) are the shirts and such with the phrase “stressed, depressed, but well dressed". It feels like such a joke. And stress induced disorders and depression are not something to joke about. They are serious problems people face and should not be tossed around so carelessly.
Anxiety and panic disorder is something I can talk about for ages. I have experienced at least five or six stress/anxiety induced panic attacks in the last two-three years. That doesn't seem like that much, but when you consider what the effects of panicking involve it seems like ages.
Your stomach goes up to your throat, and you can't seem to focus on the task at hand. Your hands shake, you can't walk, you can barely even talk. You get the sweats and it's like you're drowning. Sometimes, you even cry. You feel completely and utterly sick. And you just want everything to go away.
Usually, these would be okay if they were in private and you could grab your iPod to play your pre made playlist for panicky moments and just chill. But no, you are in school, at work, at someone's house. And you are not allowed to listen to your music, it is not the appropriate time. You cannot leave the room without telling someone, and talking is just out of the question. You are hardly able to get up and try to leave so you stay put, stuck in a swirling spiral of panic.
This is a serious problem for a lot of people and that makes me sad. What really sucks and kills me, is when they have anxiety and depression. Yes, let's make life ten times worse and add another disorder to the mix.
This is a subject I am so very passionate about, if you couldn't already tell. Mental health, in teens especially, interests me. I really hope you found this interesting or at least eye-opening. Because when I first discovered these things, my eyes were wide open.
keep smiling beautifuls,
To all my friends and followers dealing with crap like this right now, I want you to know you are loved. There is someone (or people) out there who love you unconditionally and want you to be okay. So put down the blade, breathe deeply, and put on your favourite music. Tune out the world. It will do you some good to just escape. I know it. I love you. ♥